Post all your bad suggestions here!

[Captain Obvious]

I thought it might make a funny change to create a thread where people can post ideas that are so terrible that they'd never make it into the game, but are funny nonetheless. Here's mine:

"We should be able to craft a magic wand that allows you to cast spells such as summon tornado or raise dead!"

Please add yours!

[mattyboi]

Create a "bowel" meter and make the survivor dig latrine ditches.

[Captain Obvious]

Haha, brilliant!

[toebar]

Lava.  We must have a map with lava. No game is complete without this.

[AZHockeyNut]

we should get eaten by a shark while walking along the waterway at Coastal Highway.

[ChillPlayer]

Let's have a teleport/fast travel feature.

[Captain Obvious]

Make the game free to play, with in-game purchases for ammo, food, matches!

[cekivi]

Add multiplayer - if you die you become a wolf. To respawn you need to kill a human.

All wolves are named dogmeat.

All humans have power armor.

[AZHockeyNut]

2 hours ago, ChillPlayer said:

Let's have a teleport/fast travel feature.

we had that... sadly "someone" flagged it as a bug and it got fixed... ;-)

[BortimusPrime]

Long johns become 100% wet when a bear detects you for the first time.

Wolf/bear attracting puddles of puke if you run around with food poisoning.

Bear aggro radius massively increased for female survivor for 5 days out of each month.

If you feed a bear a steak every day for a month, you can tame him and ride him around.

Hack limbs off frozen corpses for wolf decoys.

Once a sanity system is in place add dirty magazines which restore sanity faster than playing cards but degrade on use.  (Pages stuck together)

[Ahatch]

Rabbits get rabies and bite you in the ankle and you get it and die

[cekivi]

Welcome to the forums @BortimusPrime

[Captain Obvious]

6 hours ago, Ahatch said:

Rabbits get rabies and bite you in the ankle and you get it and die

Or the occasional one could be like this!  

 

[Sharky]

The Forlorn Musket! It's a super-weapon of mass destruction that some crazy military scientists made, but they hid it away in the Muskeg, because it was just TOO dangerous!! Basically, it would spawn in one of the muskeg hunting blinds with 200 rounds. And it's very effective!! When you shoot it, it insta-kills everything!!! Including yourself!!!!

 

[Captain Obvious]

1 hour ago, Sharky said:

The Forlorn Musket! It's a super-weapon of mass destruction that some crazy military scientists made, but they hid it away in the Muskeg, because it was just TOO dangerous!! Basically, it would spawn in one of the muskeg hunting blinds with 200 rounds. And it's very effective!! When you shoot it, it insta-kills everything!!! Including yourself!!!!

 

And the Desolation Pistol, an upgraded version of the flare pistol that burns so hot that, as well as killing animals, it also cooks them for you in the process!

(Can also be used to purify water)

[toebar]

The Mystery Tomato Soup.  When you eat this soup, you gain +10 Strength for 2 hours.  Makes you helluva tough and gives you the power to throw wolves further than Mr. T.

[cekivi]

2 hours ago, toebar said:

The Mystery Tomato Soup.  When you eat this soup, you gain +10 Strength for 2 hours.  Makes you helluva tough and gives you the power to throw wolves further than Mr. T.

I would have thought that'd be canned spinach

[toebar]

Just now, cekivi said:

I would have thought that'd be canned spinach

that would be even better--  but I wanted it to be a legendary version of an item already in game..

[Frozen guy]

Add a whisky bottle to make bandage or simply to share a cocktail with fluffy !

[Jolan]

On 2/27/2017 at 4:09 PM, AZHockeyNut said:

we should get eaten by a shark while walking along the waterway at Coastal Highway.

I just had a resident evil flashback

 

[Jolan]

A fold up version of the Trapper's Cabin that you can carry with you.  Just need enough space and hey presto! instant shelter.  Also, with the ability to store items in the folded up shelter but have it weigh next to nothing.   Genius!

 

[Captain Obvious]

Just now, Jolan said:

A fold up version of the Trapper's Cabin that you can carry with you.  Just need enough space and hey presto! instant shelter.  Also, with the ability to store items in the folded up shelter but have it weigh next to nothing.   Genius!

 

Love this one!

[Captain Obvious]

Should be able to find a military radio in Signal Hill radio hut and use it to request airstrikes on bears, wolves etc. Or if you need fishing hole ice to be broken and you forgot your prybar.

[Jolan]

A dog whistle that works on wolves, for those times when you really want all the wolves in one place

[Captain Obvious]

Rhosgobel Rabbits should be available in the forests of Mystery Lake. Strap them to a sled and use them to outrun wolves (and wargs...)