Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night


justjokingnot

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An account of my longest run as I learned new game mechanics. There's a lot of self reflection, you have been warned. It's from the point of view of my character so I only break the fourth wall when I have a note to add. The title was from a poem written by Dylan Thomas called "Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night." It's one of my favorite poems and i feel as if it fits my experience in this save. Each section title is named after a song, poem or line/work that I identify with that period of the game. Updates will be as regular as possible but I'm rather bogged down at the moment.

Day 1-12: No Time for Caution (Interstellar OST)

 Timberwolf Mountain is impossibly tall, it looms over you like it could swallow you any minute and in a sense that is true. It’s riddled with caves and the weather is harsh, the blizzards swallow you hole, they take your mind and body. The caves start out slow, your mind tricked by sights and sounds if you stay in there for too long. Sometimes the wind sounds like wolves, sometimes there really are wolves. Dead bodies become alive for a little while, you call over and over again “Hello, hello?” until you are right there, realizing just how alone you are. 

 Timberwolf Mountain is good at that, making you feel alone I mean. But after some time you start to find beauty in the world around you. You are alone but that’s OK somehow. I yearn occasionally for any sign of living, breathing human being. When I find radios I desperately switch them on and then off and then on again until I realize nobody’s there. 
When I was on the mountain I was terrified at first, then angry and then I was suddenly calm. I couldn’t tell you when I started being so comfortable there, maybe it was finding my routine, maybe it was when I returned to the cabin after being stuck in the caves for three days.I remember sitting in one cave thinking that I was going to die. I remember staring out of its mouth at the blizzard and being so angry with myself for giving up just like that. I once thought that it was how stubborn I am and how angry I was then, that got me through those nights and in part they did. Really though I just ate my way through cat-tails, tea and any food I had on me. 

 When it hit day 10 though I became restless, I was comfortable and that meant I needed to move. I didn’t want to make the climb to the mountain yet but I wanted to go somewhere else. Old maps of the area that were hidden in the cabin said I could get to Pleasant Valley from there. 

 I made my plans, a day for planning, a day for leaving. I collected all of my rope, I stored as much as I could and picked up as much as I could. The sight of the cabin as I left it was bittersweet, thinking about it now is even more painful.

 I was going to go back there when I finished my journey, when I found what I sought. I never will though, my last thoughts will be on this ledge. I can never see my cabin again, my cabin. It’s become my home, out of everywhere I have lived it will always be where I belong. 

 I learned to survive there, without the comforts of salvaging houses and cars I survived. My anger at myself has only burned brighter now, knowing that my mistakes have led me to this point, I cannot go home ever again.

 If only I had been more careful.

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Day 13-23: Ditmas (Disparition)

Day 23-34: Prologue (Firewatch OST, V. Good Game BTW)

Day 35: Roads (1977 Hobbit OST) 

 

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