Pure Cringe (A sad story)

boshmi

By boshmi
in Survival Stories

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boshmi

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Gather round, gather round, Uncle boshmi's gonna tell you a tale...

I call this one... pure cringe.

It was a frigid afternoon like this one. What's that? It's warm where you are? Well, too bad, I'm cold, and it adds dramatic effect. Anyway, I had just started my new game with the goal of going migratory, picking up a rifle or bow, then heading off into the wilderness to try and forge out a living by myself. I spawned in CH and spent the first few days buggering around, trying to find a rifle. Consigning myself to riflelessness, I decided to head on over to DP, in order to craft a bow and a few arrows. I spent a few more days searching, but finally giving, up I was off to crumbling highway. On the way in, it was blizzardy, and wanting to reach the mine tunnel As Soon As Probable, I ignored the various huts and cars along the road.

Long story short, I ended up in the lighthouse a few hours later, sheltering from the blizzard. The step forward now was to head on out looking for materials for my instrument of salvation. Easier said than done. Nearly six hours of straight gameplay, and quite a few close calls with wolves later, I had what I needed for a bow and 15 arrows curing on the ground.
(Save for the crow feathers and scrap metal. Crow feathers seem to have a magical feature that they only spawn when I don't need them.)
This curing process was possibly the most boring bit of the story, but it was nearly midnight at the time, so I went to sleep. (In real life) I returned to the idea of seeing if the riken happened to have a convenient crafting bench (not in real life). While I left the stuff curing, I was off to craft some arrow heads and check if my observation was correct.
(I've never really used the forge because I don't like desolation point as a map very much. It's too desolate. What's that? You say that's the point? Well... I can't think of a snappy retort. I'm the one telling the story here, why are you even talking?)

Into the riken I ventured (picking up a few handy crow feathers on the way), and I was met with no crafting bench, but plenty of coal and firewood. It was at this point I went; "Ah, what the hell" And I proceeded to unload into the furnace, with the aim of smelting that summabeyotch. (I'd collected plenty of scrap by now).
Slowly, the heat climbed, until the furnace showed 160 degrees, and clicked with glee, ready to see the fruits of my labours...
And I was smacked in the face by a little "x" in the corner of my screen, saying heavy hammer required.
Sh*t.
With no extra coal or firewood, I was forced to think fast. I dropped everything, and ran to hiberna, as quickly as possible, and scoured the place for a heavy hammer. I was just about to give up as a little bench caught in the corner of my eye and on it lay a heavy hammer...
Oh thank every god I know. Because of this incident I now belong to just about every religion. Just kidding. Because the next incident made me leave every one of them.

I was running back to the riken, overjoyed with my good fortune, when apparently all those gods decided to take a massive sh*t on my head and decided it would be a good idea to throw a bear at me.
Well, whoopie, needless to say I was caught by surprise, and turned into a taco bell family meal. By which I mean I was mostly made up of unidentified meat and streaks of what looks like E. coli. Staggering back to the riken, I healed up with my extensive first aid supplies, and proceeded to smelt everything I had. 7 Hours passed, and as I had left my sleeping bag in the lighthouse, I slogged through it all with blurry vision and 4% condition. The result? 15 Arrowheads.

Going back to the lighthouse, just to add insult to injury, the weather turned into a blizzard, and I nearly froze to death coming back. On 2% condition, prepared to die, I flopped into my sleeping bag, completely spent.

From then on, I was able to make the rest of my gear without much incident, yet on the way back, triumphantly holding by bow and plethora of arrows, I entered the mineshaft connector to find that a blizzard had decided to bugger everything up. I slept TWO FULL nights in the mineshaft connector, using hibernation tactics to conserve food, and so, on day 17, I exited that mineshaft, just to check the weather, then went back inside, and was promptly incinerated down to 14% condition by my campfire.

-_- Turds

Finally, ready to give up, I hauled myself out of desolation point into CH, at the end of my strength, and decided to quickly loot a stopped car. And you how what I found lying on the f*cking well backseat of this car? Why don't you view the image below and see? (Taken from the precise moment when it happened ingame)56fcf676712ba_ScreenShot2016-03-31at6.28

Didya view it?

Good, because in real life, at that point I would have blown my brains out as this survivor.
10/10 would go through hell for nothing again.


So that's Uncle boshmi's tale. Ya'll have a good night's sleep now. You never know when the ghost of the asshole programming shall return to haunt you as well.

PS: Now I have no idea what to do. My find puts me 3kgs over encumbered, and I have 17 rounds of .303 ammo. Any suggestions?

 

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boshmi Prepper

boshmi

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1 hour ago, hauteecolerider said:

Stash some of that ammo in the car. It's not going anywhere. Head home to base, recover, recuperate. Get your health back up to 100% before going back for the gun and the ammo and whatever else you stashed to lighten your load. 

Hey, you made it this far without a rifle . . .

I don't actually have a home base at the moment. Like I said, I'm doing this with the intention of going migratory, as it's been a year or so since I bought the Long Dark and not once have I tried to go full nature-boy (sleeping under rock outcropping and shiz in PV and TWM). That was my goal this playthrough, and that's what makes me wonder if the rifle is really what I want. Those 17 rounds won't last forever, and the arrows can be crafted by hand.

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boshmi Prepper

boshmi

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6 hours ago, Vhalkyrie said:

Great story! No, no, I wasn't laughing.  No, no, I wasn't!  Ok ok - I was!  Reminds me quite a bit of my own misadventures {ahem}.

Holy ham - I had no idea cars were a potential rifle spawn!!

10/10 Would read again.

Apparently quite a common one too! My friend found one in a CH car quite recently as well. In fact, I always seem to find a lot of really great stuff in cars.

Timberwolf Mountain update cars are secret goldmines exploit confirmed?

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boshmi

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10 minutes ago, Drifter Man said:

It would have been sad if you had died while forging arrowheads :) But even apart from this, I liked your writing style.

Well, that makes me feel like a very special sunflower. Or snowflake. Whichever works. If you really did like it, I guess I could write the sequel. I've continued a few days, but the arrowhead portion was the most exiting by far, as of yet. Do you think I should?

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Jolan Pathfinder

Jolan

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On 3/31/2016 at 4:59 PM, boshmi said:

I don't actually have a home base at the moment. Like I said, I'm doing this with the intention of going migratory, as it's been a year or so since I bought the Long Dark and not once have I tried to go full nature-boy (sleeping under rock outcropping and shiz in PV and TWM). That was my goal this playthrough, and that's what makes me wonder if the rifle is really what I want. Those 17 rounds won't last forever, and the arrows can be crafted by hand.

well... you can always make that car your home base :)

 

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